There are not many things guaranteed in life; first comes birth, finally comes death, and the fact that sex with a long-term partner starts to become routine after a while occurs somewhere between those junctures. At a certain stage in your relationship you come to a point where matters are more than mundane in the bedroom. You may see yourself as the Don Juan of Deptford and she may be your Mata Hari of Harlesden but you've already used all your moves and she's become as predictable as Arsene Wenger signing some French dude.

You could decide that it's time to throw in your cards; quit while you're ahead and deal yourself a fresh new hand but if she's Miss Right in every other ways what's the point of all that?

Think back to the classic movie Cocktail; Tom Cruise managing to reach the bar (thank God for Cuban heels). He's a mixologist on a mission, producing all sorts of alcoholic delights with a limited number of ingredients. That is what you have to do my friend. Mix things up a bit.

Tom managed to whip the female clientele into a frenzy with a little of this and a little of that and you must do the same. There's probably not much wrong with what you're doing already; you know you want her and she wants you...you've got a head start on other couples already.

So if you usually do 5 mins of A, then she does 10 minutes of B, then on a good day C happens....yawn...sorry, I drifted a little. If I lost interest so easily, you two must be bored enough to chew your own arms off. Before you do anything so drastic, put all that knowledge of her likes and dislikes to good use.

If you know that old classic, the missionary position, works for her, how about adding some handcuffs to the mix? If that sounds a bit too S&M for you, don't panic, I'm not suggesting gimp masks and leather whips; start with holding her wrists if she likes it move on to the handcuffs.

Sometimes something as simple as a change of scene can lift things out of the doldrums. Booking a room doesn't have to be pricey; a cheap seaside B&B can be just as much of an aphrodisiac as a suite at London's Langham hotel...the connotations of dirty weekends and the guarantee of an English Breakfast in the morning is sure to spice things up a bit.

Remember that with a little imagination and inclination, you have it in you to stir up the mix a bit. Now shut the laptop and get started.

donna@crumbsformen.com