Summer Loving

"In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love" as Alfred Lord Tennyson so delicately put it. But let's be frank, it's not exactly love that he's talking about. Statistics are not known for their sexiness (unless you are a super-geek) but analysis of UK birth rates in the last century demonstrates what Tennyson is getting at - sunshine makes us horny. The peak month for birth rates in the 20th century was invariably March indicating that nine months previously we were getting frisky at the beginning of the summer as the long johns and woolly vests were cast aside.

All hail the Lizard King

Certainly in our Northern hemisphere a touch of intense sun does seem to make us sex-crazed. Maybe David Icke wasn't so off the mark with his lizard people theories. After all don't cold-blooded creatures like crocodiles spend most of the cold months in semi-hibernation until they come back to life with the warmth of the sun heating up their skin and blood? In much the same way that we Brits seem to come alive in the sun and our libidos go off the charts.

Maybe it's because we have been walking around like zombies, devoid of feeling sexy most of the year that we really let loose when the sun warms up our skin. Just look at how we behave on our summer holidays to sunnier climes - we tend to rut like rabbits. Some of the joys of sunshine holidays for men mean being surrounded by either the missus in next to nothing by the pool, or a smorgasbord of scantily clad females to feast their eyes on - preferably both.

Hawk Eye

So it is no surprise that everywhere I hear men joyfully applauding the return of summer and the reduced amount of clothing and increased display of flesh on women. No longer do they have to watch us sloping about in Uggs. In many situations men seem to lack observational powers - you can redecorate a room around them and they will fail to notice. However the important things to them do not go unobserved: All winter swathes of faceless women pass them by unnoticed on the tubes and busy streets, but as soon as those same women ditch the winter coats, boots and jumpers men's powers of observation become more focussed than a Wimbledon umpire.

Chained to the Bathroom Sink

Whilst men of the world rejoice, the return of summer has one dilemma for women: the extra hours that we begrudgingly have to spend removing body hair, exfoliating, moisturising and countless other lotions, potions and preparations. However, there is some pay off in making the extra effort, as the exposure of sun-deprived skin, and the feel of warm sun on the skin is an aphrodisiac like no other. All those resented hours of grooming seem worth it when you know that should the opportunity arise you are ready for action - nothing is stopping you from whipping off every layer! There's nothing like that increased confidence and lack of inhibitions to add to the frisson of summer liaisons. Yes, my friends, a newly waxed bikini area is the friend of sexual spontaneity; men you might do well to remember that when moaning about the amount of time we spend in the bathroom.

Written by Christina Kamester