November is calling, and as expected, the air is getting colder and thinner. Yet, while the weather may be changing, our loveable (and sometimes detestable) celebrity friends have managed to remain consistent in making themselves a hot topic, getting involved in new scandals, acquiring new boobs, fainting, getting into vehicular accidents and generally snogging everyone and everything.

Where, oh, where shall we begin? Perhaps we can start by venturing west to the land of lipstick and lies... otherwise known as the elusive Kingdom of Hollywood.

From Shags to Splits

Recently, it is being reported that our very own Bridget Jones, Renee Zellweger has split from Bradley Cooper, of The Hangover. This comes in just after photos of the couple returning from Holiday have ploughed the internet, so it's safe to say that only Ms Jones and Sir Cooper know the truth to this story.

In other celebrity couple news, girl-kissing fiend Katie Perry is certainly hot over her new beau, Russell Brand. The couple have been spotted out in public several times throughout the month and continue to engage in a transcontinental romance.

More Hollyweirdness

Brad Pitt has recently been involved in an accident on his motorcycle after being chased down by those pesky Californian paparazzi, leading him to accelerate into the vehicle in front of him. Luckily, no one was hurt. The luckiest man alive, Pitt, who left unscathed could go back home to be greeted by the hottest woman alive. Tough life.

In the land of California, other things remain consistent: Lindsay Lohan is still a massive train wreck in denial, Paris Hilton still has more money than all of us, and pre-teens around the world continued to be fixated with Robert Pattinson, Kirsten Stewart, and the Twilight franchise as the New Moon film press tour has begun to devour media waves.

The World's Biggest Ego Remains Intact

In other news, rumours flooded the internet that Kanye West had died. These rumours were quickly put to rest, and the responsible website was in turn shut down. Of course, we all know that Kanye will never die. His ego would not allow it, and then who would be around to put Taylor Swift "in her place?"

Sing Me to Sleep ... I Want to go to Bed

Travelling back to the UK, it should be mentioned that legendary songster, Morrissey, collapsed on stage this past week at a gig in Swindon due to difficulty with breathing. Never the less, the legend has prevailed, being discharged from the hospital.

The ever classy Katie Price has declared that ex-husband Peter Andre was having an affair with his manager. Of course, Peter vehemently denies this claim, and we can only assume that the mess will continue on next week and Katie will continue to strut, her mess of self, throughout the West end circuit.

England's Finest Roses

Bringing up another classy English lady, Amy Winehouse has had some enhancements in her chest region... and her father was the first one to tell the world just how great they are looking. Perhaps if we are lucky enough, we could see them in person, but it would only be truly entertaining if we were able to watch Miss Winehouse spit, punch, or verbally assault someone at the same time... it's simply a matter of killing two birds with one stone here.

In sum, as the next month passes and celebrities continue to get mixed up in even wilder things, we can only salute them for keeping us so heartily entertained.

Written by Valerie Haberman