When I say 'The Big O', I am quite sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. The female orgasm.
Even though you may know that female orgasms exist; after all, you know that if sex is the journey, orgasm is the destination. Do you really know anything more than that?

Understandably, for many men that is the extent of their knowledge and who can blame them as definitions vary as to what exactly an orgasm is. However, one thing remains consistent and that is describing the Big O as "providing feelings of great pleasure and excitement". Part of your job description as her lover is assisting her in reaching her destination.

To Fake or Not To Fake

If you're thinking that you know what women want, and you always give it to them, I'm sorry to burst your bubble but according to statistics 70% of women fake orgasms at some point or another. If that is the case, you've probably been duped yourself - us women are good actresses and it's not as easy as you may think to spot a potential Oscar winner. Please don't allow it to knock your confidence though as there are a variety of reasons a woman fakes and most of them have absolutely nothing to do with your performance.

Fake It to Make It

If you've ever had a long car ride with a child constantly asking, "are we there yet?" you'll understand that there comes a point when you just want to shout at the top of your voice, "YES we bloody well are!" If you put all your emphasis on her getting to O, you'll both be missing out on the fun the other 25 letters in the alphabet can give...if you get my drift.

Mix It Up

As only 30% of women reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone, going at it like a pneumatic drill is not necessarily the best way to rock her world. Variety is the spice of life and this applies to sex too. There is certainly a lot to be said for mixing things up a little. Try licking, kissing, rubbing and any other verbs you can think of. Having a sex script you stick to without variation, things can get a little boring. Trust me fellas, it's hard to get worked up about something that's predictable - you wouldn't read the same book over and over would you? Stimulation is the key that unlocks her ability to orgasm.

Bearing in mind that many women will still have a satisfying sex life whether or not they orgasm, don't put too much pressure on it. As with most sex related matters communication is the key. If you're not sure you're hitting the spot, ask her. Be prepare though, the answer you get may not be the one you want to hear. On the other hand, if you talk things over and come up with a plan that is sure to get her bells ringing, she'll want to do the same for you...ding dong!

Written by donna@crumbsformen.com