We've all heard the saying 'treat them mean, keep them keen', and it seems that there is a grain of truth in that statement. After all, doesn't the bad boy always win the girl? Isn't it the nice guy who comes second; the one the chicks keep on the sidelines as 'just a friend'?

Rules of Engagement

I heard a theory once which explains the whole sorry affair. Apparently in any relationship one partner adopts the role of 'Cherished' whilst the other is the 'Cherisher'. The nice guys reading this are probably reading this and thinking the very idea that relationships are not totally equal is ridiculous, however, the bad boys are nodding their heads in agreement.

Remember that girl you met, you said you'd call and didn't, you turned up late for dates but she still showered you with texts and was still waiting at the bar when you finally turned up - that was her being the Cherisher. On the other hand remember that girl you met, you said you'd call and you did, she was late constantly and rather unappreciative of the hearts and flowers you gave her until the day she said 'lets just be friends', you had slipped into the role of Cherisher without even knowing it.

The Bad Boy Good Boy Balance

So one gives affection and the other takes it, but it's not necessarily a conscious decision. However, the guys who are most successful with the ladies are those who can slip between the roles; sometimes cherished, sometimes being the cherisher. This creates a frisson of excitement and keeps things fresh.
If you're constantly playing the cherished; the bad boy if you like, she's eventually going to tire of always being the one showing all the affection and find herself someone else. We can all agree though that if you always put her up on a pedestal and constantly worship the ground she walks on, she eventually will get bored and find herself someone else.

I know it sounds a bit complicated and finding the balance between times spent cherishing and being cherished is difficult, but stick with it and you'll find you're much more successful in the dating game. Look at someone like Jack Nicholson, he's a notorious bad boy who despite not being the best looking bloke always manages to have a lady on his arm - he's found the balance and I'm sure you can too. It's definitely worth a try don't you think?

Written by donna@crumbsformen.com